Aging

From the blog, “Reflections from Another Dimension,” at www.ginalake.com

Aging is one of the things the ego rails against because, to it, aging means loss-loss of beauty, strength, energy and abilities. It doesn’t see what is gained in aging, which is actually much more valuable than any of these other things. What is gained are wisdom, understanding, compassion, patience, and love. Isn’t that like the ego to see only one side of things? Exactly. Now you may argue that not everyone becomes wiser, loving, patient, etc. as they age, and that would be true, of course, at least perhaps in a particular lifetime.  But ultimately, as you evolve over many lifetimes, you do become more wise and loving, and aging is one of the ways this comes about. As you lose the things the ego loves, it is humbled, and the suffering entailed in this motivates you to find other ways to be happy. When you get older, you need to discover how to be happy even when the ego doesn’t have what it wants, and that is the great lesson of life!

Aging is relative, of course. Eighty year-olds talk about sixty year-olds as young, and so they are, from their perspective. Aging is all a matter of perspective, that is, a matter of what you compare yourself with. Most people suffer over aging because they compare themselves with their former more youthful self, which they will never be again. What is you compared yourself, instead, to your future self? Then, the self that you are now comes out looking pretty good! This is one simple way of overcoming the ego’s suffering over aging-just realize that you are as young right now as you will ever be! What a blessing. Why waste time and energy-life-bemoaning the fact you aren’t what you were? The ego loves to do that. It loves to create problems, but aging is not a problem the ego can solve. Its point of view only causes suffering. You can have that suffering, if you like, by taking its point of view, or you can adopt the point of view of essence, which loves life, including the miracle of aging and the challenge for growth that aging presents.

Aging is the universal challenge-no one escapes it. As a result, a lot of wisdom about aging exists for you to draw upon. Unfortunately, some never let go of their ego’s perspective, and they suffer all the way to death. You don’t have to. You can decide to be grateful for the life and body you have now, and you can choose to ignore anything else the ego has to say about this. Those who suffer over aging spend a great deal of time and energy thinking about it and trying to do something about it. That is the ego’s way of dealing with it, and this can keep you very busy, that’s fine if that is what you want your life to be about.  However, understand that you only have so much time and energy, and if you put it on your mind and its plans to try to be more beautiful and youthful, you will not have time and energy for other things that may be more meaningful.

What you put your attention on becomes your reality. Putting your attention on your looks and on the aging process creates a particular experience in life, one that has a good deal of suffering, since going to battle with aging is a losing battle. But more importantly, it causes suffering because it’s all about “me”.  Focusing in the “me” and trying to improve the “me” so that it is better than someone else is inherently unfulfilling. What is fulfilling is serving others, loving, learning, growing, developing and sharing your talents, expressing your creativity, and enjoying life (which requires forgetting about the “me” and dropping into essence.)

Whenever you focus on the “me” you suffer.  It is as simple as that. Aging can be an opportunity when you finally give up your focus on the “me” and focus on something more fulfilling. This focus on the “me” is a stage of life. As you mature (age), you come to recognize what makes for real happiness. That is the gift of aging, and it is the most precious realization; then aging stops mattering to you. You see that you never were that “me” that worried so much about what you looked like anyway. What a wonderful discovery! You are free to just live, without having to cater to the “me” anymore.