3 Little Words

Are you harbouring a grudge? Maybe against the neighbour who side-swiped your mailbox and never fixed it? Or that ex who stomped all over your heart? Or the boss who laid you off?
Saying “I forgive you” and meaning it (even if you only say it to yourself!) could have major payoffs for you, including a tougher immune system and healthier hearth.

Why? Holding onto bitterness and hostility is like living with chronic stress: It releases a brew of feel-bad chemicals into your body that increases your hearth rate, blood pressure, stomach acids, muscle tension and inflammation-triggering compounds. None are good, but the inflammation is worst. It encourages plaque build-up in your arteries, which cause heart attacks, impotence, wrinkles and stokes.

By contrast true forgiveness bolsters levels of T-cells.They’re your immune system’s crucial warrior brigade and battle viruses and other dangerous invaders. That’s not all letting go of big grievances helps fight depression and anxiety, eases the toll of stress and can even relieve chronic pain.

So how do you get over a big hurt? It isn’t about pretending that you weren’t treated badly, and you don’t have to become best buddy with someone who did you wrong.  You don’t even have to tell the other person you’re over it. Start by recognizing that holding a grudge hurts you, not them. Whenever you find yourself tensing up about it, take some deep breaths and move on.  If it takes a while, fine. The person you are letting off the hook is you. –unknown source